I Feel Loved.....But Neglected

I really been wanting to post but everytime i get settled down and ready to write i always lose my train of thought. The Question is, Whats really been up with me?

I just feel extremely lucky to be blessed with such a wonderful young man, he has the key to my heart and my dreams. I know i'm a bit clingy, and i'm sure if i could i probably would spend every moment with him but ever since mid spring he's been kinda out doing him and there is nothing wrong with him going out with his friends occasionally but with his busy work schedule it has been kinda hard for him to give me that ME TIME that i love so much. I would find myself getting caught up in jealous rages because he would rather spend most of his free time with his friends than with me so that caused alot of arguments and most of the arguments ended with him not understanding how i was feeling. Yeah i may have came across as a bitch and a bit selfish but it was getting to the point where we was barley doing any of the activities amongst our selves. But now these past 2 weeks....things have really changed or shall i put it, went back to normal and i am just glowing. Yea it aint just go back to normal by itself but along heart filled convo led to it. He spoils me rotten and its fucking great....can't wait til my birthday woot woot!!

I'm just happy right now and feel loved because he loves me and i love him back. He is going somewhere in his career path and so am i, like i can't wait to become a nurse cuz i will be making money out the ass....23 making a little over 70,000 year....shiiiiiiiit can't wait. Yea i may be working at a bullshit job now and broke as shit, but i'm still in school and my goal is only 2years a way. I'm just happy to have found a career path that interest me like nursing at the time i did....because i will not....will not...be one of those people regretting what they shoulda or coulda done....i just wanna make sure my future is set, i watched my mother struggle when i was younger and i damn sure don't want that for myself that is the last thing i want. I wanna be able to take care of my damn self pay my own bills car note, mortgage whatever.

My birthday is coming up soon....YESSSS here comes the big ole 21 cuz i sure am tired of being left out amongst the friends going to bars and lil lounges and ish.....that really sucks like i feel neglected by them hoes. Going out in shit without me or without even telling me b/c i'm not 21 yet....fucking losers!!! But i still love them little whores...lol.

JULY 4TH- was pretty effing cool. Babe had to work he had a show to do up at walkermill park so he was out there all day. My folks and fam and some of their friends came over 2 the house and we cooked out...i grubbed like shit and chilled with my sis and nephew til babes got home...then over his house all his fam was there and boy do they be lunching i really love his family they are all so damn hilarious. But yea babe lit some fireworks we got from this dude off the street...we call him the ultimate hustler cuz this nigga has everything but anywho....it was pretty. Babe ended up going to mix a band at some club down the street so i just stayed wit his fam it was like 20 of em...most of em young so they wasnt that bad...his lil sister and her lil friends and cousin got drunk as shit cuz 2day is her bday so they got str8 twisted last night. But overall it was pretty okay 4th of july.

I had to work this morning, and boy do i hate my job but i sure did get the fuck up outta there quick as shit today. Then i got amber (babes lil sister) a card with some cash from both of us for her bday, chilled over there with his fam ate crabs from last nite and just chilled over there lunching with all of em and his moms until he got home from work. It feels good now that i actually feel comfortable going to his house unannouced to hang with his fam when he's not home cuz i've been doing it a whole lot lately.....i just always have so much fun with them especially his lil brother chris...thats my lil boo he funny as hell....alot of times i rather hang out with them than babes b/c honestly it is just really fun hanging with them.

well i feel like i wrote enough even though i have a whole lot more to post...i guess i will just wait til 2morrow.

peace♥